Breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend is one thing. There’s plenty of places to get advice on how to do it. But what if your breakup involves a family member?
Most of us are not in a place to just go nor do we want to. We feel it isn’t the right thing to do. What do you do then when you have a toxic family member is basically destroying your life? How do we deal with the sense of guilt, obligation, sadness, and disorder?
It is critical to note that not everyone’s family is there for them to call on, to go home to, or to lean on.
Not all families are fostered on the principle of support, stability, and interconnection. Sometimes family just means that you’re all acorns from the same tree. It’s shared blood. That’s it. Some families lift you up and some suck the life out of you.
There are relationships that just aren’t fixable, family one included. There are circumstances that you can deal with for only so long before you’re done with them. There may come a vital time when you have to remove yourself from your family in order to do what is best for you and maybe for them.
Unacceptable treatment includes abandonment, rejection, not taking the time to be in your life or get to know you, making you feel unwelcome, someone being overly critical of you, always competing with you, forcing/pressuring you to be someone you are not, manipulating, blaming, belittling, and neglecting you.
The list goes on and on. These types of happenings can make a huge imprint on our hearts and hinder our ability to respond without them being stuck in the back of our mind’s. Our life’s responses become doubtful, fearful, and skeptical and we more often see darkness instead of the light in situations and people.
These negative, bad experiences can devastate us for a lifetime. Unless, we do whatever is necessary to get ourselves into a loving, nurturing situation and replace bad reactions with positive ones.